Your Children Owe You Nothing: The Keys To Gratitude

Much has been said about the keys to parenthood and the efforts involved in being the mother or father of a little one .  Our generation has assumed that parenting is hard work that deserves to be compensated , but it may not be so. Keep reading and we will tell you.

“You will appreciate it when you are an adult” and “the children should be grateful” are some of the phrases that repeated ad nauseam show that many parents aspire that everything they do for their offspring is rewarded or, at least, recognized in the key of gratitude . 

But the truth is that this way of assuming motherhood or fatherhood it will only lead to parents being victims of frustrations and, even, to leave room for negative feelings that may arise in the absence of what they believed essential: that their children were grateful for each and every one of their actions in favor of parenting.

Parenting is not sacrifice or obligation

It sounds simple, but we must be honest and accept that it is very difficult to change our perception of parenting.

The example we received when we were young children takes us away from the possibility of seeing parenting from another perspective.

“The child does not owe you anything, he does not have to return it to you”, Osho

At some point in our lives we convinced ourselves that raising was sacrifice and dedication, effort and hard work Therefore, we should expect in return the eternal gratitude of our children, because without us they would not have grown and matured in the way they did.

We believe we are indispensable in their lives, and boy are we wrong because our children can be cared for and cared for by anyone who wants to assume that homework . 

That truth hurts, right? So if other people are in the capacity to raise them, just because they want to, why do we persist in relating parenting to an obligation?

View on gratitude

A similar view on gratitude is described by the Indian-born thinker Osho in the Children’s Book, A Revolutionary Vision of Early Childhood Education, where it exposes the following:

“Mothers used to think that they were making a great sacrifice for their children (…) That was harmful, because love does not have to be an obligation and you should not talk about it.

You love because you feel happy. You are not doing anything to the child; you are doing something because you like to do it.

The child does not owe you anything, he does not have to return it to you . You like being a mother and you should be grateful to the child ”.   

So from this moment on we invite you to see parenting as an opportunity to do what you want with that little person  That you love.

Put aside the recipes of the gurus of teaching and perfect parenting. Those are names to advertise ideas and lifestyles that are not permanently applicable in our day-to-day lives.

Do not expect anything from your children other than their well-being, joy and freedom

The best thing is that you are the author of the method with which you will treat your children. Desserts, warm water baths, medicines, pampering and stories You will give them according to the rhythm dictated by your intuition and nothing else.

Trust you and be grateful to have the opportunity to contribute responsible women and men to the world.

Try to change paradigms

According to Osho’s vision, “the old generation was not grateful to the child. They always expected the boy to be grateful. And when they realized that it wasn’t, they were very frustrated. ”

And this is precisely what we want to avoid: frustrations ,  because these are the key to open the door to endless situations and feelings as painful as they are useless.

Nothing against the current in the sea of ​​upbringing that imposes and forces. So you will see that everything you manage to fish will be good and rewarding , both for you and your children.

Do not expect anything from your children other than their well-being, joy and freedom .

When you see them smile, assume that this imaginary debt has been paid off with that gesture of love.

When you get a hug, don’t attribute it to the fact that the boy  He wants to thank you, better think that he holds you in his arms because he wants to.

When you assume parenting from the freedom that implies doing things because you want and not out of obligation .

You will stop waiting for rewards and you will enjoy every moment with your little ones , that one day they will be great and they will pay you with the best currency: love.