Why Shouldn’t The Children Be Tagged
Many parents inadvertently tend to label their children, but there are different types of labels. A father or mother will never wish their children evil, but if they label them they will be doing a lot of damage to their self-esteem and their development. But people are used to labeling others : “nervous”, “loser”, “restless”, “naughty”, “bad”, “anxious”, “sad” … unfortunately there are many labels that adults say to children every day.
Negative labels
Negative labels are those that indicate a negative part of the child’s behavior or that highlight a disorder and are classified as something that is wrong with the child. Children who receive negative labels end up believing that they are like that and begin to behave in the way that others tell them they are.
If you label a child as “heavy” or “bad”, it is most likely that they will end up believing that this is really the case, because what the adult says must be true. Then this behavior is fed back and the child ends up being “bad” or “heavy” because that is how he thinks he should behave.
Positive labels
Positive labels are labels that tend to highlight the positive parts of the child. There are parents who, out of fear that their child will feel bad about himself, label them positively so that they raise their self-esteem a little. But labeling in a positive way can be counterproductive, especially when they are exaggerated or unrealistic labels.
For example, if a parent tells their child, “You are very smart,” two things are likely to happen: the child mistrusts the parent because they know what they are saying is not true and they feel even worse about themselves or on the contrary, really believe that you are smart and become frustrated when you realize that you are not really smart.
Special labels
In our society there are also other types of labels that are necessary to be able to diagnose children with different disorders such as: ADHD, Attention Deficit with or without hyperactivity, depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, etc.
These labels confirm to parents that something is wrong and they may be relieved to find an answer for you. This type of labeling is necessary to be able to access the necessary resources to promote the proper development of children. But in no case should it be an excuse to highlight the negative aspects of children, it is not necessary to see the disadvantages, but the possibilities for improvement.
Use with special labels
Be very careful with special labels because children may feel like they are sentenced to life in prison with that label. If a child is labeled as “impulsive” or having “attention deficit”, a condition is being assigned to something that can be worked on and achieve good results provided it is positively reinforced.
Labels if misused can limit children rather than give them the opportunity to improve based on their abilities, needs, and personal interests. All labels are behaviors and you can always choose what behavior they want to have.
Why not tag
Parents must find the right way to talk to their children and not label them the wrong way. For example, instead of saying to a child: “How bad you are that you hit your brother”, the correct thing would be to guide him to learn what is expected of him, in order to redirect his behavior: “Stop hitting your brother that you are hurting him ”.
In addition, parents need to be persistent so that children know that they see the good in them, that every day they see the best in them and that the negative is only something that can be worked on to improve . It is necessary to be positive and look for the good side of things. For example, if a child has been afraid of a nightmare, instead of calling him “scared”, it is necessary to understand his emotions and make him see that the evil is over and that he is very brave to face his fears and try to sleep again.
Children need to hear good things about them every day (positive labels that are consistent with the child’s abilities and personality) because this is how they can really build it into their personality, if they are labeled with negative things… they will believe it too.
