Why Does My Son Get Poor Grades And How Can I Help Him
Why does my child get poor grades? This is one of the questions that parents ask ourselves when faced with the school failure of our children that, on many occasions, we do not know how to deal with it.
First of all, we must know the real reason for these bad grades. Many times they are not due to the laziness of children; they want to get it right, but they can’t.
Little ones sometimes feel undervalued because of their grades. They think their parents are going to love them depending on their success or failure in school, for this reason, it is important to let them know that our love for them is unconditional, regardless of their grades. This we have to repeat it to them frequently so that they assimilate it well.
Why does my child get bad grades?
The first thing we have to do is rule out that our children’s poor grades are due to dyslexia or dysorthography problems, because this does require more specialized care.
Another reason is that the child is intelligent, but lazy. Yes, sometimes laziness can be a factor that we have to take into account, but often this is not the cause of poor grades. Some of the most common “enemies” of school success can be
- Children who are intellectually precocious.
- Little ones suffering from separation anxiety.
- They do not know how to manage their emotions well, especially if they think they are always obliged to succeed.
Intellectually precocious children: educating in effort
Children who have high intelligence or are precocious when it comes to acquiring knowledge have a great facility to understand what they read, without the slightest effort, but there is a problem: learning is not understanding.
Learning requires effort; understanding is easier. These precocious children do not usually make an effort: they follow the law of least effort. The important thing here is to correct that lack of effort little by little, not only in school homework, but in sports or tasks that you do.
How do I help you?
A child who is not educated in the effort may be very gifted intellectually, but he will obtain results that are not in accordance with his intelligence and in the end he will end up depressed and close to studies.
What we have to do is ask for a limited effort at the beginning and motivate the child, offering him some reward after some efforts and results. These rewards do not have to be material, they can be a trip to the movies, an afternoon in the field, etc.
My son gets poor grades for separation anxiety
This usually occurs at an early age as a result of separations from the mother that children experience as something traumatic: birth of a brother, abrupt weaning, absence of the mother between 18 months and 2 years …
The little ones with separation anxiety problems, when they are at school without the presence of their mother, are permanently distressed. This anxiety paralyzes the child’s cognitive functioning and he is unable to follow the class and understand what he is prepared to understand due to his intellectual capacity.
What I can do?
If our child is in this situation, what you have to do is ask for help from a therapist who specializes in these types of problems. In this way, you can get out of this intellectual blockage and regain normalcy.
It’s not all about success, but about doing your best
We all have the need to feel successful in what we do, but sometimes, for children and for some parents, this desire turns into something totalitarian.
It is then that success becomes an obligation and the little one suffers anguish and excessive tension from being able to achieve success in his grades when this does not happen and the child has not obtained the grade he expected. For this reason, he loses his self-confidence and feels dissatisfied, which is why he ends up depressed.
But what if you end up depressed? Well, the opposite of what we want: your grades will get worse instead of better.
How do I solve it?
Asking our children to do the tests and their exercises the best they can always and not focus on the results, but on their effort to do as well as they can.
We hope that this information will help you to answer the question that many parents ask ourselves and that here you will find some solutions to be able to help the little ones in the house and that they improve.
