Vague Instructions, Assured Disobedience
Your son has grown very fast and with him the challenges you have to educate him correctly. If you are surprised how he becomes more independent, ignores everything you say and where he passes is like a small tidal wave, it is time to ask yourself if you really communicate with him correctly, because imprecise instructions will always be synonymous with disobedience insured.
We must develop the skill of teaching our children the ability to follow instructions. This will not only solve a specific problem such as: to stop fighting with his brothers or to stop jumping on the bed when asked, but much more.
Well, the fact that a child is able to follow a large part of the instructions that are given will help him maintain the harmony of his home, but it will also give him a life lesson to survive in the world when he has to face it on his own.
Without a doubt, it will be easier for your little one to acquire this ability, if from an early age you begin to give him precise instructions and apply clear rules at home, because all human beings have the need to have habits.
A child whose parents have not been able to give behavioral parameters will surely present some type of attention or behavior problem in the future. In this sense, always bear in mind that your children are eager to have firm and affectionate parents who give them a climate of trust and security.
Discovering limits
Around the age of 2 or 3, children begin to discover a new phase of independence, because at this time there will be many new things to do without needing any help such as: running, going up and down stairs, jumping on the bed, among others…. but with these new abilities they will also need to discover the limits, how far each action can go.
Right at this moment comes the fundamental role that as parents we must play, when guiding and teaching our little ones to obey, to know the limits between what can and cannot be done.
In this sense, avoid the irrational exercise of authority, this will only confuse your child more. Do not take something as a grace that tomorrow will seem terrible and could trigger a scream.
Likewise, try to prevent situations that can trigger rebellion and plan more activities according to the age of your children. It will always be a better option to go to the park or to a soccer practice, than to enter an elegant restaurant where they will surely get bored and will not be able to behave in a good way.
How to give precise instructions?
Once your little ones are aware of everything they can do, an elementary tool that will help you make them more obedient is for you to learn to give precise instructions. Some of the elements that you should keep in mind when talking to your children are:
- Get their attention : approach your child, crouch down and look him in the eyes, with this practice you will get his full attention and you will make sure that he is not distracted by any other element so that he really listens to you.
- Choose to give precise and positive instructions : instead of conjugating everything with the word “No” that is directly related to a prohibition, use positive sentences and give one instruction at a time. For example: if you plan to say “Don’t take out all the toys” it will be better “Take only 3 toys or keep what you have finished using please”.
- Be realistic with the tasks you ask : keeping perspective will help your child to follow instructions, because sometimes he may not follow through because you gave him something very complicated. So always take a minute to think about whether this is something you can do, based on your age.
- Be patient, firm and consistent: when you reprimand him because he ignored, remember that he does not know when some action exposes him to danger, offends someone or is not according to the rules, he is simply exploring his limits and it is normal.
In this sense, before you feel too concerned that your children do not pay much attention, try to change the formula to obtain different results. Review how you give instructions and how is your communication and surely there you will get the answer on how to obtain better results. Remember that imprecise instructions will only bring more disobedience.
