The Necessary Agreement: When Mom And Dad Educate Differently

One of the most common situations when raising children is the inevitable crossovers between parents. This is generally due to the fact that both parents often cannot reach that absolutely necessary agreement: what to do when the two educate differently?

Well, it is not a novelty to find yourself handling the same family problem in different ways. Today it is common to find two people react dissimilarly to certain situations generated in childhood. This creates discord.

It is not for less if you think about the application of different educational methods that sometimes lead to a loss of the outlined path. Likewise, they also involve a certain disavowal of the father or mother figure.

Of course, raising a child is a matter of two. Therefore, it is essential to reach an agreement regarding the chosen parenting model. That itself should not be a reason for a lawsuit in front of the children, but rather a topic of debate for the couple indoors.

When mom and dad educate differently

These discrepancies appear when one of the members follows an old school (traditional) upbringing while the other parent opts for a less harsh and strict education. This under no circumstances means being permissive or leaving everything to the minor’s free will.

Well, this is the case of, for example, those who exercise positive discipline or another type of teaching where they change physical punishment and other harmful and ineffective techniques for other more current, productive and less cruel strategies.

Needless to say, if there is no dialogue in the marriage, this imbalance begins to be perceived that generates great discomfort within the relationship that does not offer support in this process. Tense moments, conflicts, fights and loneliness complete the picture.

In such a way that it is imperative to maintain fluid and frank communication between the two. At the same time, a lot of respect, love and patience are required to walk this path that will undeniably be hard and slow that cries out for even teamwork.

Something that both parents should remember is that, even not appreciating immediate results, through the necessary agreement they will reach the goal: forging autonomous adults, with good self-esteem, happy and grateful for all this. An award for so much bustle.

A necessary agreement

Remember that in addition to being parents, they are a couple. If the cart is pulled unevenly, it will run out of cliff. So what can cost a lot, if it is done between the two, costs less. If there is no agreement and everyone remains on their own, it costs double.

Of course, as parents you can and do have the duty to educate the little ones, freely choosing which way we think is the most appropriate. This does not mean that the agreement implies following a model with which it is not shared.

So we speak of an agreement in which there is dialogue, negotiation. Fundamentally where fights do not occur in front of children’s eyes. Where orders and permissions that permanently contrast and confuse the minor are not given.

In front of the creatures there can be no reproaches, because that must be previously solved privately. That is what this imperious agreement consists of: understanding, respecting and empathizing with the person next to us.

Connect, no more, no less. With father and with children. Only then will things work better, and the home will run smoothly. Otherwise, it will be impossible to reach an understanding. Consequently, the family union begins to unravel.

Consensus, far from an imposition or obligation

Forcing or forcing those around us to follow in our footsteps can be suffocating for everyone. It is not a question then of exerting this pressure on each member of the family. It is about learning to accept differences and learning to live with them in the best way, for our children.

Ultimately, whether through punishment or by example, both mom and dad were only looking for the best for the boy’s future. Of course, as both educate differently, they have different tools and modalities.

But what remains is the love and invaluable company that adults offer to infants, a beautiful stain that does not fade over time. These non-material goods give the little one an unshakable strength to continue his life, but also nourish him with values.