Shame In Children
Is there an early demonstration of shame in children? Shame is considered a selective emotion, since it will depend on the value and meaning that each child gives to their actions; this will potentially depend on the social and cultural environment.
Shame is considered a universal moral emotion, which derives from dissatisfaction with an act performed, either due to frustration or not meeting the expectations of the environment.
When does a child begin to experience shame?
From the beginning of life and for a period of two years, the infant establishes verbal or non-verbal communication with his environment. From that age, shame in children makes its appearance thanks to the beginning of the sense of ridicule.
Sometimes the infant wishes to be independent, and due to his condition he cannot. They develop a kind of frustration that leads to shame at not being able to fend for themselves.
While it is true, it is thought that children are born somewhat predisposed towards shame and that some will be more sensitive than others to it, but that will be determined in a good way by the treatment of their parents or the people in charge of their upbringing.
Although it appears to be something totally negative, shame in children can help them adapt to the demands of society.
How does shame manifest in children?
When a child feels shame, it can manifest itself physically. Many little ones tend to walk with their heads down, isolate themselves and blush. Sometimes an out-of-control laugh is introduced to help ease the tension that the embarrassing moment has produced.
What emotional consequences does shame bring to children?
Anger, for example, is one of them. Commonly after being embarrassed by an event, children can be driven by anger and even try to exact revenge.
The objective will be to cause some type of aggression towards the person who made them feel ashamed, which can lead to physical and psychological abuse.
Another emotion derived from shame is helplessness. This manifests itself after the shameful event, not being able to turn back time and solve it. Children feel helpless and abandoned.
Common scenarios in which shame appears in children
Shame will be common in children, since they are in a period of adaptation to various social situations; This inexperience leads them to make mistakes and consequently to feel ashamed.
Some of the most common situations in which the infant may feel embarrassed are:
- When something they have tried to do has gone wrong and more people are watching them
- When to address publicly in front of unfamiliar people
- Being the object of accusations that ridicule them
- When they are forced to demonstrate their skills
- By making a mistake while eating or relieving themselves
How to help children overcome shame?
By putting the following tips into practice, parents can help their little ones cope with shame episodes more easily.
While it is true, the shame will not go away. It will change its forms of manifestation and even its intensity throughout life, but learning to know how to cope with it is a great tool.
Serve as an example
Parents need to show their children that embarrassment can happen to anyone, even adults. Being calm and collected in the face of an embarrassing event will help them overcome a similar event.
Avoid forcing him to do something he doesn’t want to
A frequent practice of parents is to force children to perform actions that they do not like. One of the most common is forcing them to kiss and hug strangers.
Regularly after these events they feel somewhat ashamed, so it is recommended to instill good manners, but not to force them to love people.
Show respect for your emotions
Avoid at all costs that the child is made fun of after feeling embarrassed. Parents should guide their children, whether they are extroverts or introverts, serving as a companion in all those social events where they may feel ashamed.
It is very important to let infants know that they have the support of their parents and that their emotions are valued.
