Puberty: The Age Parents Fear The Most
Puberty is the age at which the human body passes from childhood to early adulthood. It is that transition period when you stop being a boy or a girl, but you have not yet become a man or a woman. It can be a difficult stage for those who experience it, but also complicated for those who have to deal, from the outside but very close, with it. Of course, we say “may be”, because not all families go through the same thing. For many, their children’s puberty comes and goes as smoothly as any other time in life.
Where does the fear of parents towards puberty of their children come from?
Parents’ fear of their children’s puberty, in principle, stems from ignorance and the inability to know how to deal with that period.
Not because they have already lived through puberty are parents prepared to face their children’s, and that is precisely where the first failure lies: in wanting to match the adolescence that they had, say, 30 years ago, with which they live today.
Despite the fact that it is a physiological period in which certain physical changes are suffered (without variations over time) the family, education, fashion, values, technologies, consciences … are not the same, and It is in them that you have to rely to find all the answers that arouse the fear of adolescence that adults experience so much.
How to deal with that fear?
Fears are faced, first of all, by knowing in depth the details of the object or situation that generates them.
If you fear your son’s puberty even though it has not yet arrived, the most immediate thing you should do is find information about it about how today’s adolescent lives his physical and psychological changes.
Do not get carried away by the notion you have about what that period is or is not. Do your research, read about the subject. Only then will you be better prepared when the time comes to live with a teenager.
Don’t get carried away by popular phobia
There are parents who only talk about how difficult adolescence is, about the mood swings that adolescents experience at that stage and how to live with them.
Popular opinion sometimes magnifies what happens normally upon arrival, with the daily problems and disagreements of a family at any time.
Don’t get carried away by the popular phobia that adolescence is “terrible.” It is not so bad. Open your mind and receive that stage as you received the birth of your child, his change from school to institute, or the first time he told you he was in love (if it already happened) … with joy, acceptance and normality.
The truth is made by practice
Even if you have been instructed in this regard, nothing like your own experience. In order to have an idea or opinion about your child’s adolescence, you have to live it, be aware of it.
Now, waiting for your arrival and, so that you live it in the best way, achieve family stability and contribute to the well-being of your child, we give you these tips:
Patience
Patience will be your best ally when you have to resolve a dispute between you and your child. Avoid yelling at him and being violent both physically and verbally. If, on the other hand, he is the one who becomes aggressive, leave the conversation for another time and make him see that by behaving like this you will not pay attention to him or solve the problem
Inclusion
Include it in all family conversations and decisions, the establishment and fulfillment of the rules that guarantee the harmony of the family
Negotiation
Opt for negotiations over altercations. The problems or disagreements you have with your teenager should be put on the mat to talk about them. Be tolerant, listen to him and try, by all means, to reach an agreement that is beneficial to both him and you. This way you will also be teaching him the weapon to fix his disagreements with others: dialogue
Equality
Treat him like an adult. Although he is in a period of transit, you should already treat him as an adult, see him as an equal. Only by giving him responsibilities, taking into account his criteria and understanding his concerns, will you be telling him that you respect him. Even if you have proceeded like this in your childhood, in your adolescence, you must go to extremes in it
Firmness
Be firm in your decisions. Although it is always better to choose negotiation, sometimes you will have no choice but to impose your criteria. Teach him that if you say no, it is no; although of course, do not be arbitrary. Whenever you say No, explain your reasons and make him understand the basis for that denial.
