My Son Doesn’t Know How To Share
Arriving at a certain age is when we learn to enjoy the pleasure of sharing. The joy of sharing with others spices up our lives, but it is necessary to insist that it is necessary to have a certain degree of maturity to understand how divine this act is. Your child will learn to do it, don’t worry. Perhaps now it is difficult for him, like every little child, just give him time and guidance to see wonderful results.
Many parents say with complete concern: My son does not know how to share. Some feel a bit frustrated and ignore how common it is that children do not want to share their belongings, especially if the baby is between 18 months and two years old.
Added to that concern is the confusion they experience by not knowing what to do when this happens. For this reason, they often force the child to share their toys; However, this attitude causes the opposite effect on the baby who can cling more than before to his object and his stubbornness.
Therefore, before forcing your child to share, it is good to take some aspects into consideration. In the first place, it is necessary to know that sharing is an action that requires trust, empathy and security and these principles work in the same way for us adults.
We share with people we trust and this is a fact. Adults, no matter how altruistic we are, we must recognize that we do not share all our belongings or our feelings with anyone, so why do we believe that it should be different with children.
Sharing requires trust
Between 18 months and two years of age, social relationships with children of the same age are often quite unstable because they form and dissolve easily.
The friendships that your child makes, although they are fruitful, are short-lived because they die out as contact with that child becomes impossible. Also, most of their friendships are very changeable, because at that age children change their playmates very frequently.
But, in addition, your child faces another crucial difficulty because since he still cannot speak very well, he lacks the language skills to establish agreements; and to share objects it is definitely necessary to reach certain agreements such as, for example: I lend you my cart, but then you return it to me.
These circumstances of the child’s age make it difficult for him to trust another child to want to share his belongings with him. However, as you know, this situation will not last forever, as it will change as you grow and acquire skills.
When your child is between 3 and 5 years old, relationships with children his age begin to be more stable, he already attends school and can speak more fluently. In addition, the sense of friendship develops with more roots and their language is enriched every day. All those capacities that evolve gradually enable him to share his belongings with whoever he considers his friends.
With all these aspects in mind, it is vital that you avoid forcing your child to share their belongings with other people or children. If it is not his will, do not force him, because perhaps he is not ready for it yet.
Thus, when you understand the situation in all its dimensions and do not force him to do something that you do not want, you are helping to defend his personal space, so that he learns to say no and assert himself. Your child must learn all aspects in a peaceful and non-aggressive way, and in this area your intervention and guidance as a parent is essential.
Trust is crucial to be able to share
It is essential to find a middle ground so as not to force children to accept interactions with other people or adults, when they do not want to, it is not healthy to teach them to say yes to everything against their will, the most sensible thing is for them to learn what to say that no, it is not offensive or inappropriate.
By applying these concepts, you will be helping your child to develop self-affirmation, assertiveness and self-care strategies; so when they are older and have to face an uncomfortable or dangerous situation, they will know how to say no, since they have developed the necessary skills to do so.
And although it seems contradictory, this has nothing to do with you encouraging your child not to learn to share. Ideally, you should accompany him in his process of social development, that he learns with you to be able to share. He will, trust that, you just have to respect his rhythms and his personal preferences.
It is crucial that during this process you teach your daughter how important it is to respect the well-being of others. How do you do that? Speaking… it is vital that they understand that when another child does not want to lend their things to them, they must be respected, just as their decisions are respected, those of others must be respected.
You will see that over time your child will share his toys with certain people and at certain times. The best thing you can do is observe him to be able to determine in what circumstances and with which children he feels confident enough to share his things, so you can facilitate the fact that he shares more easily.
You can reinforce the value of sharing by telling them that it is okay for others to use their things and that it is also correct to take care of them and ensure that others take care of them. Over time, your child will discover that sharing is a human nature activity. We all love sharing content on social networks, a good meal with loved ones, a conversation and a coffee with a good friend …
