Make Your Child Responsible, Not Guilty

Parents often confuse obedience with responsibility. With obedience, negative feelings can appear in children, as well as resentment or guilt. Instead, with responsibility, children are taught to be responsible for their own actions and actions, and above all, to be able to decide which action is more appropriate on what occasions.

Many parents love to have their children follow directions or orders given to them without having to question the authority of the parents. This is something that all parents want to see as normal, that is, that blind obedience that will only form insecure and dependent children. This is not at all teaching children responsibility, it is obeying.

As children grow and over time, parents want children to know that they have to do some tasks or others and that in this way, it comes from the inside of the children to do it, without the need for adults to have it. to remember. This attitude is responsibility, but it will be conspicuous by its absence if in the first years of your children’s lives you have taught them obedience instead of responsibility.

To teach children to be responsible, it will be necessary to refuse from time to time that everything is perfect, it will also be necessary to respect children, to accept their decisions and that from time to time, they too can question authority. It is through negotiation and commitment that responsibility is worked, without bad feelings, without guilt.

Tips for teaching responsibility to children

Start small

Responsibility does not appear by magic, there is no magic wand that makes a teenager suddenly totally responsible. Starting children to have responsibility is something that should be done from when children are very young, for example from the age of two. Don’t expect your adolescent to be responsible if you haven’t given him the opportunity to be or to experience what he is before.

Let your children help you

Don’t complain or be listless when it’s time to do household chores. Your smile will be a good motivation for your child to help with housework. Allow your children to help you with household chores, even if at first that means it will take longer to finish them. It is a team effort and your child must learn to do the tasks (appropriate for their age).

When your child helps you with household chores, you should first help him with those that cost him the most, and then gradually withdraw the help. Thus, over time, your child will know how to do all the housework well. When he does things, do not forget to make him feel valued, so he will have a good feeling about the housework and he will feel proud of the good work. 

Show how it’s done

A child is not born learned with all the knowledge and that is why he will need your guidance and guidance. You will have to show him how to do the smaller tasks and increase the level progressively. For example, if your child dumps all the dirty clothes on the floor of his room, you should show him where the laundry basket is so that he can throw them out each day. 

It is important that you only entrust your children with tasks and responsibilities that are appropriate for their age, so they can do them and not get frustrated. You can use the word ‘responsibility’ to mark his household chores, so he knows what is expected of him at all times and that they are also things that he will have to do on his own once he learns to do them.

Keep the following points in mind

In addition to taking into account all of the above, other important aspects need to be borne in mind to teach children good responsibility and that they know not only what is expected of them, but also that they learn that there are aspects in life It will only depend on what they do and how they do it. Do not miss other points to teach responsibility to children:

• Be a good example of responsibility
• Praise them whenever necessary
• Recognize a job well done and manage your expectations
• Avoid rewards, increase praise
• Provides structure and routine, children need order to learn responsibilities
• Apply negative consequences (agreed) in case of breaching the rules