Is It Okay For Children To Choose Their Clothes?
In one of her books, the psychologist Rosa Jové states that most parents want children to become independent, healthy adults capable of making the right decisions. But sometimes we don’t let them be. One of the most frequent questions that parents often have is whether it is okay for children to choose their clothes. The answer is clear: experimenting is always good, especially if they have your support and guidance.
When I was nine years old I had the first argument with my mother because I did not want to wear the clothes that she had chosen for me. It would have been a very bearable situation if my mother had understood that this demand was the voice of a girl asking for some independence.
That episode was quite a drama. We both struggled to impose our opinion. Mom unknowingly started fighting with a teenage girl and didn’t understand it. I also did not know that the whim of clothes was a small conquest for me.
Respect for your individuality
Now, fortunately, the pattern is changing. Children have a voice and vote and their opinion is taken into account from a young age. They are listened to and respected in matters such as what to wear, and parents understand that they may well compromise on matters such as children choosing their clothes.
I have a cousin named Fabiana, who has known since the age of five what she likes to wear. He chooses clothing colors and patterns and, like most children, he has a favorite flannel that he does not give a rest to. Your child’s preferences may include the pink tutu or the superhero costume. Let him use it, the world is not going to end for that.
Fabiana is now turning seven years old and has quite definite tastes. His mother knows what to buy for him and respects his preferences. Above all, she does it because she is still a girl, and her tendencies are not oriented to be or to appear, through her clothing, something that she is not.
Accompaniment when choosing your clothes
“Children know very well what they want, they are the ones who choose their clothes,” said Catalan designer Custo Dalmau on one occasion. And I think so, that what he says is true, only that as in most situations in life you have to be fine. It is one thing for the child to give his opinion and respect his tastes, and another is for a 5-year-old girl to feel like a fashion guru.
You need to understand that you, like their mother or father, must monitor their choices. You will have to explain to them the social norms or the climatic imperatives that make suitable clothing or not. Have clear rules and do not forget that, above all, you are dealing with a child. Remember that he must be able to get dirty during the game, for which he should be provided suitable clothing, rather than scolding him about what to wear.
Offer him, within these limits, various possibilities that suit his taste. This way you will have the freedom to decide the clothes, shoes or accessories that you are going to wear that day.
Ideally, your child should experiment, feel capable of making his own decisions, and make them without pressure. And, above all, that at any time in your life you feel that you have the accompaniment and support of your parents to enjoy the freedom to choose, explore, rehearse and err in a safe environment.
The advantages of children choosing their clothes
The fact that we allow them to choose their clothes and decide on their appearance offers advantages for their development. First of all it makes them feel more respected and valued and taken into account. This strengthens your self-confidence and creates a positive bond with us. By feeling heard, the child will be less likely to react with rebellion and will tend to consider and accept our advice.
Being able to decide on your appearance helps your personality take hold. And, in addition, by making these small decisions they become more autonomous. Something that will be very positive for the future, when they have to face larger elections.
