How To Help Your Child Cope With The Loss Of A Friend
All parents fear the moment when their children will reach adolescence and will have to face their first love breakup. However, we often fail to realize that children may grieve long before puberty for a variety of reasons. A move, a change of school, the death of a pet or the loss of a friend are some of them.
Ultimately, any circumstance that generates the absence of something important or dear to the child can cause a grieving process, as this valuable loss must be assimilated. When a friendship is no longer present in our son’s life, he faces a situation that involves a severe emotional blow. Therefore, as parents, we must be ready to accompany him, support him and guide him on the painful journey.
What does it mean for a child to lose a friend?
The reasons why your child may have to face the loss of a friend are diverse. During childhood, it most likely occurs due to family decisions made by parents, such as a change of residence.
As they get older, they may part ways, especially in transitional school courses. That is, in the transition from Early Childhood Education and from school to institute. On many occasions, the centers chosen to continue education are different and the children stop seeing each other.
On the other hand, at any age, it is also possible that the friendship ends by decision of one of the two minors. They may fight, argue or one of them establishes other types of friendships, leaving aside who was their great friend.
In any case, for a child or a young person losing a friend is no small thing. This situation involves much more than we might think at first:
- They lose the person who accompanied them in their day to day life and made their stay at school more pleasant. As the friendship fades, they can feel enormously lonely, confused, and out of place at school.
- Suddenly, they see themselves without their accomplice, without the person to whom they could entrust their secrets, their fears and their desires. Especially in the case of adolescents, losing a friend can cause them to feel misunderstood, since at this age there is a natural estrangement from parents in favor of friends.
- They face tough emotions such as disappointment, betrayal, mistrust or guilt without yet having sufficient resources to manage them due to their young age.
How to help your child overcome the loss of a friend?
- Validate their emotions. As adults, we can make the mistake of minimizing the loss of our child and underestimating their emotions. Avoid saying phrases like “it’s not that bad ”, because it is. Within their limited world, the absence of a friendship is a severe emotional setback.
- Help him understand and express what he feels. For the child it can be difficult to identify their emotions, understand why they arise and share them, get them out. But this is an essential task to overcome the duel. Then explain that it is normal for them to feel sad, angry, or confused, and make yourself available to listen.
- Teach him to handle frustration. In most cases, the loss of friendship will result from decisions made by others that are beyond your child’s control. This can make you feel angry and helpless. So, teach him to manage frustration by working on his psychological flexibility and his ability to adapt to change.
- Try to prevent your child from falling into guilt or resentment. Given the loss of friendship, it is normal for the child to direct anger against himself or against the friend, and look for a culprit in the situation. However, both options are emotionally very damaging, so it is preferable that you help him understand that sometimes people’s paths diverge and this is normal.
To help your child cope with the loss of a friend …
If your child is going through this difficult situation, he will need your presence, your comfort and your guidance. The way you teach him to deal with adversity can make a difference, so don’t hesitate to apply these tips.
