Emotional Blackmail In Children And Its Consequences
Emotional blackmail in children to make them obey is one of the cruelest resources and that, in the long run, affects the child’s psyche. Telling him that we do not want him, that he is bad, or that we are going to abandon him if he does not stop crying are some of the quickest ways parents take to get immediate answers; indeed, it is an absolutely wrong action.
The worst thing about blackmail is that, in turn, it unleashes a vicious circle in which the child also begins to manipulate his parents in response to a copy of his actions; finally, communication and demands between parents and children cease to be respectful. Discover all the considerations on this delicate subject.
Considerations about emotional blackmail
Blackmail is, indisputably, a form of domination. It is to use a power or a superiority against an individual who is at a disadvantage. It is a power game of the weak against the strong, and of the one who has a lot to lose and must immediately give in to the demand.
However, one of the most notorious aspects of emotional blackmail is that the person who suffers from it, in this case the child, must respond so immediately to the demand that they cannot even rationalize what the objective of what is being asked of them is and why it must obey. He just does it, out of fear of losing something precious.
Having to obey an order based on disagreement, fear and haste without rationalizing of course will only create in the small annoyance, fear, resentment and disrespect towards authority figures.
Why do parents and children resort to emotional blackmail?
The individual who exercises emotional blackmail knows that he is trying to impose a position and, in addition, that he is lying to achieve it. It is clear that parents are not going to abandon their children if they do not stop crying or if they do not stop misbehaving.
On the other hand, it is also notorious that even children as young as one and a half years old pretend to cry just to get attention and get what they want.
Of course, blackmail, although it is based on a lie and has a negative moral connotation, is exercised without a real awareness of the long-term consequences. Parents, when they threaten their children, are not aware of the bad example they instill in them, of the fears or resentments that they can arouse in the unconscious as a child.
For his part, the child cannot notice that, by blackmailing the parents, he causes them to lose credibility towards the demands of his needs.
As a general statistic, it is important to clarify that the families in which there are many more cases of emotional blackmail are those that are going through a divorce or a crisis on the part of their parents.
In these cases, for example, children take blackmail by comparing the immediacy of their parents’ response to their demands; adults respond with the same vicious cycle, conditioning their love in relation to the child’s behavior towards his partner.
How can emotional blackmail in children be prevented?
We must clarify that emotional blackmail is not only learned in response to the repetition of parental behavior, but it has also been identified as an almost instinctive inclination in the human being. However, one of the best options to combat this action is with constant and assertive communication with the child.
There are no easy ways out; It is obvious that young children will not immediately understand the commands of their parents and why they must comply with them. However, repetition, example, and instilling respect can go a long way.
It is also important that you identify if you or your little one can be victims of emotional blackmail. Some of the characteristics of the individuals that can fall into these circumstances are:
- They need constant approval.
- They are afraid of upsetting those closest to them.
- They are going through situations that require immediate reassurance.
- They always give in quickly to the needs of others.
Finally, remember that setting limits and rules with love and respect, coupled with a constant and healthy dialogue between parents and children are the best tools to ensure that this unacceptable behavior is not resorted to.
