Does Your Child Always Want To Be The Center Of Attention? Find Out Why!
Most people who raise children admit that there is no book capable of conveying the daily difficulty of being a mother or father. Where does this difficulty lie? In many cases, it is wanting to conform to formulas and standards, rigid recipes, that leads to frustrating experiences for parents and children.
The words we use to refer to our situation before the world and others build reality. For many centuries, childhood was relegated to a level of submission, enigma, obscurantism and uncertainty.
At present, the International Rights of the child are known and the look towards the little ones has become more empathetic. And at the same time much more useful.
In any case, many stigmas and clichés that are highly harmful to healthy child development remain. One of them is the idea that children’s freedoms end where adult conversation begins.
On the other hand, the conception of children classified as good and bad remains overwhelmingly valid. Perhaps not surprising is this look at childhood in a society in which what goes out of the norm quickly becomes a threat.
Does your child want to be the center of attention? Put yourself in perspective
Parents are surprised and complain that their child wants to be the center of attention by constantly performing mischief. The surprise comes when they notice that, despite knowing that there may be anger and even punishment and yelling, the little one will return in minutes to try his luck with another inappropriate activity.
In the reality of parenting, it is called ‘negative reinforcement’ when you get what you want by adverse means. Really, positive reinforcement is always preferable.
Your child does not want you to be angry with him, he does not want you to yell at him or punish him. It is simply the way he learned to communicate with you. You don’t want to be the center of attention, you want to be happy and surround yourself with happiness.
However, sometimes intense sensations invade him and he does not know how to get out of them except with your help. It is a kind of childish fear of overflowing itself. Why is this happening?
Following the respectful parenting of childhood as a model, it is considered that when a child cries, the important thing is not that they stop crying, but help them understand their own feelings.
Adults tend to despair when a little one cries uncontrollably. They look around, they feel panic, they feel ashamed; they believe that society will accuse them of being useless for ‘not knowing how to calm the child’.
In a hurry, instead of hugging and trying to empathize with the child’s feelings, parents give them a candy, a toy, or even threaten them into silence.
Understanding, dialogue, trust
Knowing these emotional mechanisms, a look of empathy towards that innocent being who depends on you to connect with the world is more accessible. First of all, you must admit that your child is distressed about something, that he is suffering and that he does not know how to express it by other means than by ‘attracting attention’.
If instead of denying, you accept the child’s feelings, the communication gap will narrow more and more. Little by little, your child will be able to express himself what he feels.
The same dialogue, from the same perspective, you can apply when the child wants something that you think he does not need or will not do him good or it is not the moment. In such a case, you simply breathe and explain that you understand what he is feeling but that you have your reasons for not agreeing to your request.
You have to stop to analyze that , if your child trusts you, the frustration will be less and less, until he can manage it himself. The little one must gain independence.
‘You need an entire tribe to raise a child,’ says an African proverb. Children need security, protection and acceptance by their environment in order to grow autonomously, appropriating in a positive way the world that surrounds and contains them.
In short, if your child wants to be the center of attention, it is a stop sign, that dialogue, caresses and love are needed. The final advice: always trust that you will know how to give your child the attention and care they need.
