7 Keys To Limiting The Child Without The Need For Punishment

The education of our children is an issue that all parents worry about. We must always avoid punishment as a method of education, as it causes insecurity in the child and damages their self-esteem.

In addition, with shouting and punishment we only get them to obey us out of fear, not because they understand that they have done something wrong. We have to bear in mind that when we raise our voices we do not inspire respect, but fear. We are telling our children that to get something you have to speak loud and angry. In the end, they will end up yelling at you, when they are older.

Is there an effective method to educate without punishment? The answer is yes, and there is not just one effective one, but there are many. Here we will talk about the importance of establishing limits and norms for the education of our children.

The establishment of limits that regulate their behavior is essential. Many people think that with limits, we are “limiting” our children. But the word has nothing to do with limitation and it does with protection.

It is important to limit the child without punishing, this will help him to have confidence in himself and will strengthen his self-esteem. Thanks to this, you will learn to differentiate what is right from what is wrong.

Next we are going to see the keys to take into account to teach our children in a positive way, without punishment or yelling.

Keys to limiting without punishment

Use empathy when setting the rules

If we put ourselves in their place, we will make the child feel understood and will have a greater predisposition to accept the limits that we have established. For example: “I understand that you are angry, but I will not allow you to hit your brother.” Or “You must ask for forgiveness now or when you are calmer, as you prefer.”

Limits have to be consistent, clear and concise

That is, if we tell our son to go to bed at ten o’clock at night, that’s the way it has to be, except there is something relevant like an event and then we could be flexible.

These also have to be clear, for example: “Pick up all the toys that are cluttered around the room, so that tomorrow you can play again.”

Set the consequences of not complying with the norm or limit

Whenever we establish a norm or limit, we must make clear the consequence that it will bring if it is not complied with. Furthermore, it has to be proportional to the seriousness of the behavior. For example: “You won’t be able to play as long as you don’t clean up your room.”

Try to agree on the rules with the children, admitting to modify them if they provide reasonable reasons

You should listen to the children’s arguments about the rules and be open to modifying them if they provide sufficient reasons to do so. It will be easier for them to accept them if they have helped to establish them.

Regulate your own emotions

Keep in mind that parents are their children’s role models. If we respond to unpleasant behavior with anger and lose our nerves, we are telling you that this is how you have to respond to an unpleasant situation in the future. If parents regulate our emotions, children will also learn to regulate theirs. Guys who know how to do it have fewer negative behaviors.

Before correcting, we must connect with our son

If we want our child to listen and understand our explanations, it is necessary for him to trust us and know that we respect his feelings. It is important that you lovingly guide him in correcting his behavior while understanding his own emotions and consequences of his actions.

Don’t use “no” always

Although sometimes it is necessary to say so, try to reduce the number of times you do it. Since if you say it frequently you will confuse the little one because he does not know what is expected of him. Use “do” instead of “do not”, as it is better to state the rules in a positive way. For example: “Put the toys on the table” instead of “don’t throw the toys on the floor.”

You already know some keys to educate your child without the need to punish him. Now you just have to start them up. And remember that from a young age they have to know that they cannot do what they always want, but that they must respect the rules that their parents established. With this we will allow them to grow in freedom and learn to make decisions throughout their lives at the right time.