6 Consequences Of Family Invalidation
There are people unable to make decisions for themselves or to set individual goals. This condition is one of the main consequences of family invalidation.
Family invalidation is a common practice in many families who apply it without being aware of it. It is a process where members are subjected to disqualification, manipulation and psychological abuse.
In many cases, family invalidation manifests itself as a passive-aggressive relationship. Because the invalidation comes from a power figure in the relationship, the weaker party gives in to the abuse.
Consequences of family invalidation
- Loss of identity. An adult who has been disabled in his childhood does not know how to behave. This includes how you should and can express your emotions. In general, they are individuals who do not find a space in society and are unable to form a future.
- Inhibition of emotions. The most common form of family invalidation is downplaying emotions. An example is that child who has been prompted to stop crying because the situation does not justify it, at least for the father.
In the future, these children will learn to inhibit their emotions instead of controlling them. The tendency is for them to become adults who suppress their feelings because they “don’t matter.”
In many cases, the consequences of this are emotional explosions that threaten the environment and the individual.
- Inability to relate. Isolation is one of the consequences of invalidation. By losing self-confidence, the individual does not believe himself capable of socializing. Therefore, they are usually lonely or unstable people.
- Another phenomenon that can occur as a consequence of family invalidation is dependency. They are people who are tied to toxic relationships for a long time; Because of the invalidation, they feel that they deserve such treatment and that they cannot do better.
- Excess of self-criticism. Disabled people constantly maintain an internal dialogue that reaffirms their invalidation. They are generally very self-critical, with high levels of frustration, fear, and limiting attitudes.
Another determining factor in your temperament is the feeling of guilt; whatever the consequence of the acts that accompany them. Therefore, in many cases they prefer to stay out of any situation.
- Potential abuser. Child victims of family invalidation can become abusive adults. When the person has not been revalidated, it is very common for him to repeat the same pattern in his adulthood. Hence the story spreads with their children and the rest of the family.
The bullying and family form invalidation
Unlike what is believed, the bullying is not just a phenomenon of schools and playgrounds. Within the family nuclei there are also situations of psychological abuse; such is the case of family invalidation.
On many occasions, parents tend to criticize their children as a way to reprimand them or correct a behavior.
The effects of criticism are not always as expected in children; on the contrary, they can reaffirm a condition that you want to correct.
Again, positive reinforcement should be referred to as the ideal guidance technique for children, rather than threats or punishment.
This behavior is very common in overweight children, for example. Parents use disqualifications or practical jokes to educate the young person about their weight. In this way, parents unintentionally become bullies and invalidate their children’s feelings.
Revalidation of the adult
Reversing the effects of family invalidation is a process that takes time. However, it is possible to free the adult from all the preconceptions to which he was subjected in his childhood.
- The first step should be forgiveness to the parents. Surely, parents have been victims of the same family invalidation. For this reason, they repeat the same pattern in their family, since this type of behavior is carried out unconsciously.
- The second step should be to reinforce a positive internal dialogue to control emotions. Instead of setting big goals, the individual must formulate short-term goals. Each step must be reinforced by positive and motivating messages ; in this way, the level of frustration and insecurity can be controlled.
